“I can’t wait to spend forever with my soulmate!” That was the caption on her perfectly posed picture as she kissed her fiancé showing off a beautiful ring on her left hand.
Soulmates, it’s an interesting idea isn’t it? As happy as I was for her and her fiancé as well their future together, it really made me think about what specific ingredients make up a soulmate— so I started to do a little digging.
Here are 5 different variations of the definition of “soulmate”:
1.) A person who is perfectly suited to one another in temperament. (Merriam-Webster dictionary)
2.)You both work together in balance and always striving for equality and respecting each others contributions. (partial definition from Urban Dictionary)
3.) Soulmates aren’t perfect for each other in every way, but they’re on the same page where it counts. (Kristen Borresen of huffpost.com)
4.) “It’s really important to know what you mean by ‘soul’ in order to share yours with another person. This includes the soul as your authentic, ‘best version of yourself,’ as well as when soul includes a spiritual component. What do you need from a partner, in terms of qualities that they demonstrate, in order to share who you are in a way that encourages connection, safety and trust? Knowing your emotional needs intimately and emphasizing the qualities in a partner best suited to meet them is one way to connect to a soulmate.” (Therapist, Juan Olmedo)
5.) “Your soulmate is a fellow traveler on the journey of life—you need one another to grow beyond the limitations of your individual selves.” Marital Psychologist Dr. Michael Tobin)
As I look at these 5 different, yet complimentary definitions of soulmates it really outlines a picture much different than the solely romantic one most people paint.
This leads me to my definition of a soulmate—“A soulmate is someone who sees who you are, appreciates who you are, yet complements you in such a way that causes you to be a better version of yourself while living your own independent lives rooted in similar values, and continuously choosing to go through life’s hardships and blessings together.”
Here’s the thing about soulmates: it’s not limited to simply romantic relationships, nor is it limited to only one person— yet it’s those people who marry their soulmates that we tend to celebrate the most.
None of us are meant to be alone, but not all of us were made to be married. I have met more people that have been able to fulfill any one of those definitions of a soulmate in my platonic relationships more than I ever have in romantic ones.
We have the capacity to be completely fulfilled in our soulmate friendships in similar (perhaps not exact) but almost identical ways as our romantic soulmates, but it first starts with being fully whole yourself.
That’s the secret of soulmates.
The root of a soulmate first begins with the health and well-being of your own soul.
And in order to prioritize your soul well-being, it starts with true, reflective, soul-searching and connecting spiritually with who you are. Knowing you were made on purpose, for a divine purpose, and that that purpose has nothing to do with you but everything to do with the One who created you. Recognizing that your soul is tied to Him is the first step to be wholly satisfied and content so you can be sharpened by the various soulmates that will come alongside you in your journey to come to know more about who God is.
andrea statler 