The Three Questions You Need To Be Asking in Your Romantic Relationships

Whether you’re married or actively dating there are some questions that are important to ask when trying to establish a greater amount of respect, intimacy and closeness.

A lot of times we get into relationships and they start to feel stale, the sparkle dulls, and the fireworks you once felt are now just smoke. But they don’t have to stay this way.

So here are 3 questions that I’m sure you’re not asking, or perhaps, not asking enough to reignite the spark in your relationships.

1.) What are some things I could do day-to-day to show you that I care about you/love you?

This is an amazing question because it’s taking responsibility for yourself and the influence you have to make your partner feel seen, known and loved. This question is awesome because it’s asking for specific things that makes your partner feel like a priority and that their needs matter to you. So often we hear about the 5 Love Languages, and while it is helpful to know what love language your partner speaks, it’s more helpful to know the tangible ways that that love language can be spoken.

2.) Has there been anything that you’ve been scared to bring to my attention because of what you think my reaction would be?

So often we *say* that we want our partners to be open and honest with us, but when the things they want to be open and honest about highlights things that we’re not doing well at, it can cause us to get defensive. Most people try to avoid conflict so they just wind up affirming behavior that they don’t appreciate.

Give them space and permission to be honest and open with you often, and create a conversation and awareness around your response to criticism.

3.) If you were to wake up one day and determined that you weren’t “feeling” this relationship anymore, what would you do next?

Our feelings our fleeting, and yet we use them to make permanent decisions about our existing circumstances. If your partner is willing to throw the relationship away without a conversation about how to reignite the spark then their feelings toward commitment is probably not one that could withstand the test of time.

Look for a partner who prioritizes bringing things to your attention so that it can be an “us-against-the-problem” as opposed to a “me-against-you” dynamic.

Start asking these questions so that you can open up the opportunity for honest dialogue on how to improve your relationship.