Being the First to Apologize

I am someone who avoided conflict for a really long time before I figured out how to get good at it.

And by “good at it”, I mean embracing the uncomfortable in order to establish clarity. I don’t mind being temporarily uncomfortable if it means I can be better for it for myself and the people I’m in relationships with.

So I apologize first.

And it’s not one of those so-called “apologies” that you don’t mean or are just saying to accelerate “getting over it”. It’s a genuine, thoughtful, self-aware apology. The kind of apology where pride gets put to death.

If I start with a posture of acknowledging my faults with someone before they have a chance to tell me what I did wrong, we avoid me trying to defend myself. Then, I’m in a way better headspace to receive feedback even if it was something “minor”.

The bottom line is I’m an over thinker who is striving to be better.

A good friend told me that my brain runs on jet fuel. And they’re not wrong. It does. I’m convinced of it.

But that will either make you want to stay or make you want to leave.

I want to work things out. I want to get uncomfortable. I wanna talk about the hard stuff. Because then my walls come crumbling down and so do yours. And I like me better without walls, and I like you better too.

Apologize first. Look for ways to grow with the people you want to grow with.

We prune each other so we can thrive.